A week had already passed and I hated each minute of my life. Why wasn’t he responding? Is he safe and sound? Did he forget me? Have I lost importance in his life? These were all the questions which were going on my mind as I filled several application forms of universities in Canada. With a lot of talking and arguments with my family I was finally allowed to go with my decision of going to Canada for my Masters degree. But honestly, it wasn’t just the studies it was him whom I wanted to get to. I wanted to see him again. Talk to him like we did back then. Why had everything changed so drastically? This is not what I was expecting to become of my life. I want him back. I want his presence in my life back. And I will do anything to get it.
Getting done with filling up all the application forms, I mailed it to the respected universities and wished to get in in any of these now. I knew it will be at least a month until I get to receive some confirmation letter so until then I had to wait and do something else to divert my mind. I was still giving tuitions to little kids and so I had decided to take in more kids since I had a lot of free time in hand. Their examinations were going to start within a few weeks and I had to prepare them to give their best so their parents remained satisfied with me.
During one of the tuition sessions, I was going through my student’s Islamic Studies textbook who was apparently in the seventh grade and as I was flipping through the pages to get the desired chapter, I came across something, I don’t know if it was Allah who on purpose let me come across it or it was me who was unconsciously looking for a way to feel peaceful that Allah will help me in this situation. What I read was,
“The Imaan of a person cannot be true until he has more trust in that which is in Allah’s Hands than that which is in his own hands.” (Ali Ibn Abi Talib R.A)
This instantly reminded of how much I was trying to take things in my hands lately. I was partially going to Canada so that I could get him back. I had applied to those universities so that I could be with him. But I failed to see the part that probably this was something good for me, that this must have been Allah’s way of telling me that He has got something else for me because my choice wasn’t the right one. And how many times had I deeply prayed to get him? All I did was take decisions that I will do this and that and get to see him in no time. Instead I could have applied to the universities and kept my faith in Allah that if what I was trying to reach isn’t good for me than probably He would never let me come close to it.
A month had passed and I had received no acceptance letters from any of the universities I had applied in Canada. But this time instead of being disheartened I thanked Allah because I knew He was protecting me from something which was probably not right for me. Hence, I had applied to universities within my own home town. Then one day I received a call from one of my university friend. She wanted to give me the news of his arrival for marriage purpose. She informed me that he was getting married and hence he is coming back to celebrate the occasion with his loved ones. Yes, it left me broken. But only for a week after which I was slowly able to take in the fact that he was not the best for me and Allah has something else for me in store now so I better not whine and cry but rather just keep my faith in him.
My studies had again started in a new university this time which gave me the opportunity to make new friends and I was once again enjoying each and every moment of my life but this time with a firmer trust in Allah. And then my trust in Allah strengthened when one day I had an expected guest at my house. It was him. It wasn’t easy facing him after such a long time and what had passed in between that time. But anyways, I stood up straight and strong, smiling with confidence at him. I let him in where my mom was also delighted to see because he was the her favourite among all my university friends. As he seated himself on the sofa, my mom left to get him something to eat and drink. It really felt awkward trying to start a conversation.
He finally broke the silence with an apology for not responding to my emails. He started with his whole story about how his father had turned old and was not able to get a job and so he had to take the initiative of applying to a job. He still had younger siblings who needed to study in good institutions. He was working by day, taking classes in the evening and studying for the remaining of the night. Life was very difficult establishing himself in a different country where he had been for the first time. Now that he is finally done with his studies, and having a well paid job his parents are looking forward to him to getting married. As he said that, my mother arrived with some biscuits and a cup of tea. She had heard him speak of his marriage and so she congratulated him on getting married soon. On which he said that he was yet to find a wife and for this reason he had come to visit them. This gave me a shock. Like did I really heard what I just heard. He then told my mother that his parents had always liked me and have recently suggested him to ask for my hand. I couldn’t face it. I was blushing, my cheeks turning pink, I felt a little embarrassed about that. My mom went a little hesitant until he said that he just wanted to have my parents and mine approval and once they agree he will officially come to propose with his parents. I looked at my mom who was now beaming with happiness and that was the time I realized, this was the moment which Allah was trying to save for me which I couldn’t have gotten if I had been accepted in any of those Canadian universities.
Thank you for reading all the parts of Secret Admirer and thank you for your tremendous support. Now please do me the favour of commenting below to tell me how much you liked this short story.