From the heart, Inspiring To Read

Let Us Try Some Positive Talk

Situation: After waiting for 3 months my best friend and I finally planned to meet. We decided to meet at my place. I woke up way early than usual, cleaned my room, ironed my dress, got the lunch prepared and got ready. While I waited I received a text from my friend that said: ‘Hey I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it today. Sorry and take care!’

Negative Aisha: “Damn I hate this! I hate her! Does she even care how much preparation I put to this day!!! I am never going to talk to her again and will never agree to any more plans she makes from now onwards. Every friend does that with me! My whole day is wasted now. What am I going to do now!!!”

The Result: I was so angry and frustrated and I went to sleep at an unusual time without eating lunch. I woke up after 4 hours feeling hungry and dehydrated. Did a lot of unnecessary eating and then started feeling lazy. Then I kept scrolling down my Facebook and Instagram newsfeed. Acted rude with my niece and nephews and finally when night came I slept.

Positive Aisha: “Too bad! So much work and this. Hmm..maybe something better is awaiting. I am sure Allah has a better plan for today.”

The Result: I ate my lunch and went along with my usual daily routine. Helped my nephew complete his homework then I read my novel. Finished an assignment and went out to buy groceries with my mom. After dinner I sat with my niece and nephews to do some painting which was another refreshing activity. Just as I was going to sleep with a happy mood I received a call from my friend to apologize that she couldn’t make it because her mom had fallen sick. Poor girl, she never meant to hurt me of course.

By now my readers will be clear about what I really want to talk about. I am not going to say that I am very positive person but I try my best to remain positive. For me the best way to start with being positive is to do positive talk either with other people or with myself.

As described above I have had bad days when all I said was hopelessly negative and it did nothing to resolve the issues. In fact, it further ruined the situation because I got angry and frustrated and was not able to think of anything good. It was like I have wasted a part of my short life doing nothing productive. While on days when I remained positive no matter what was thrown at me, I had a fairly manageable day and was able to get a lot of things done on time.

Hence this is why I suggest my readers to try positive talk for once and I am sure you will feel the huge effect it will have in your life. Life is already hard do not make it harder with your negative words.

 

 

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From the heart, Miscelleneous

Do Not Be Afraid To Be Corrected

Don’t judge me! Something I hear a lot these days. People have become so fearful about getting judged that even a decent advice makes them lose their cool. People easily get offended if they are being told that what they are doing is not right.

I don’t at all mean that people should pinpoint each others’ mistakes. But rather try to help each other improve so we can build a healthy society. It is true that many a times people belittle other people for small errors they make which of course is not acceptable. Also, no one should allow anyone to treat them with disrespect. But if someone is providing a genuine advice it must be taken wholeheartedly even if people don’t want to follow it. It really matters if someone is putting in efforts and trying to help you improve. They ought to be respected for their loyalty. Anyone who is really trying to help you with a polite gesture then it must be that they really care for you.

Coming to the part where people comment rudely or harshly about a certain action or behavior of yours. As a human nature we are prone to retaliate by giving a harsher comment. But better than that would be to say something that will make them feel guilty for their act. Like for example you can say, ‘I very well appreciate that you want to correct me but I would have appreciated more if you could have done that in a much respectful tone.’

Moreover, if the person trying to correct you is already doing that mistake then you can be like, ‘While you are right with what you said, how about we both work to improve on it since I can see that you too fall short when it comes to it.’

These polite yet redirecting words will not only make the person stop being sarcastic but will also raise your ranks in the sight of Allah because of your patience and what could be more better than that.

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As a Muslim it is our responsibility to guide our brothers and sisters but in a way that it doesn’t offends them. Know the art of giving advice. Lastly, do remember that when Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) had to preach something to his Sahabahs he always made sure that he is practicing the same thing. So before you want to pinpoint someone’s mistake see that you are not doing it yourself.

Miscelleneous

Anger! To Express or To Control

I feel like anger is another subject that not much people in our society want to talk about. The maximum I hear people say is that don’t get angry. ‘Anger is not good,’ is all that I hear around. It’s like anger is some form of a bad word and nobody wants to take it as a natural human emotion. But actually anger is just like what happiness or sadness is to human feelings.

In our society girls are asked to control their anger whereas boys are encouraged to relieve their anger through various violent behaviours. I wonder if anyone even realizes what harm this kind of attitude is doing to our society. Women being asked to control their anger would have a bad impact on their psychological well being. Men been allowed to be as aggressive as they want will not teach them to take care of their impulses and will also influence the people around them in a negative manner.

So before I even begin to address the issue of anger I want you to become less biased. Men and women may have different biological features and processes but at the end of the day both of them are human beings and it is normal for both the gender to experience anger from time to time. Accept anger just like any other emotion.

Next, don’t talk about controlling anger. It is not some wild animal that needs to be controlled by putting it in a cage. We rather need to learn ways to handle it because expressing anger in a healthy way is better than not expressing anger at all. Expressing anger is not wrong but how you express anger matters the most.

It is true the current generation is very aggressive and that is sometimes not at all acceptable for our elders. Extreme anger cannot be lessened by controlling it but by channelizing it in healthy activities.

Some of the ways to deal with anger:       

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Anger is nothing but negative energy and there are very healthy ways through which you can relieve it.

  • A fast and vigorous workout really helps to get out that negative energy. Even a simple jogging in the park will help to calm you down.
  • A simple art activity like doodling is enough to get you back to your senses. 😉 Try it and feel the difference.
  • You can find lots of apps of nature sounds. Listening to them really helps to relax and soothe your mind.
  • Eat something sweet even as small as a candy.
  • Pray 5 times a day on a regular basis.
  • Listen to Quranic verses.
  • Do zikr Allah

If you are someone who frequently loses their temper then you should work on these simple tips. I won’t say that you will start handling your anger in a fortnight but with time you will get better in expressing your anger in ways that is socially acceptable and healthier for your well being. If you know someone who frequently gets angry then help them handle their anger rather than asking them to control it.