Creating a bond, establishing relationships and making connections are all an essential part of a human’s life. It is an innate need that we want to belong because it gives meaning to our existence. But as much as it’s important to develop relationships it is also needed that we set certain boundaries to keep our relationships healthy.
Boundaries help us in knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable within a relationship, it gives space to both the individuals and allows them to grow at their own pace. So many friendships, marriages and connections get ruined because there are no limits set which causes either suffocation or isolation in the end.
It is necessary that people know what their roles are in a given relationship and what is expected of them. Hence expectations need to be communicated instead of just assuming that the other person knows or will understand. When expectations are not communicated it causes misunderstandings and leads to broken expectations which then further leads to heartbreaks.
Also, we need to set limits as to how much we are going to spend our time with everyone. Even marriages become suffocating if spouses do not give each other space or can become isolating when spouses do not give each other any time. Furthermore, it helps to avoid extreme dependence so there should be a limit as to how much you let the other person lead your decisions in various matters.
When boundaries are not set, relationships can become demanding and stressful. One of them ends up doing a lot more than the other. One of them ends up suffering. One of them is consistently being hurt. A most common example is when women in a marriage keeps putting her family before her there comes a point when her family members forget to care about her needs. This is not just the family’s fault but the woman’s fault as well because she never set boundaries as to how much it is acceptable for her to sacrifice her needs for her family and during what occasions she will keep herself first.
When it comes to newly married couples I have seen that they start spending so much time together that they forget to give each other space and that’s when the relationship starts getting suffocating. This also leads one partner becoming more dependent on the other one and when due to any circumstances they can’t be together for some time their relationship gets affected badly.
Recently, I have been getting a lot of clients at the clinic, especially teenagers and young adults who are suffering through depression and anxiety because no one taught them the importance of boundary setting in relationships. So this has become a goal in my therapy and counselling sessions so that people can cherish the many relationships they have to their fullest.
In the next blog post I will be writing about how we can set boundaries in our relationships so that they remain healthy and fruitful.