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Eid Greetings to All the Muslims Around the World!

Eid Mubarak

Aisha Writes - Inspirational Blog

My eyes open wide as the morning breeze whispers into my ear, ‘Wake up and enjoy the fruit of your patience today for Allah has made this day a gift for its believers after a tough examination.’

The melodious sound of the Fajr Adhaan sounds even more beautiful today. As I sit down to make Dua after the prayer, the fragrance of the mehndi on my hands fills me with more excitement. I can feel coolness in the air today. Like there is peace there is calm. Today is one day when people have no grudges against each other. The long lost relations make an effort to meet today. The busy friends make a move and send you Eid wishes. And the whole family is together to celebrate this beautiful religious occasion.

The yummilicious taste of the Sheer Khorma followed by the other delicious feasts for breakfast makes me crave…

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Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind To Become A Better Muslim

Another year and another Ramadan is already here. I am sure most of us must have entered Ramadan once again expecting to fix their bad habits, get rid of their past sins and to start anew. If you are a practising Muslim then you must be striving hard to become a better Muslim each day and you might even be struggling to get rid of some of your bad habits.

I bring to you some steps through which you will be able to reprogram your subconscious mind to become a better Muslim this Ramadan.

Many of you might already be aware of the 3 parts of our mind but in case you are not let me just brief you. Our mind is divided into conscious, subconscious and the unconscious. The conscious part lives in the now, what you are hearing, communicating right now. The subconscious mind stores the recent memories, incidents and is in touch with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind stores the memories and past experiences. The subconscious mind occupies the majority of your mind and your habitual actions that happen on a daily basis is controlled by the subconscious part of your mind.

Know that the song lyrics we are exposed to, the movie scenes and dialogues we focus on and the people we hang out with all have an impact on our subconscious mind which in turn dictates our actions and thoughts on a daily basis. I could go on talking about how the subconscious mind is impacted through our surroundings but that would mean deviating from the real purpose of this article. Hence I am about to list down 4 techniques that will help you reprogram your subconscious mind to become a better Muslim.

Refrain From Listening To Music

Firstly, start off with deleting songs from your gadgets. The lyrics of the songs highly affect your subconscious mind and may even be a distraction for you from your daily Ibadah. Most of the songs these days are filled with vulgar lyrics that may impact on your daily activities if it gets stored as an information in your subconscious mind. I once heard from someone that you cannot expect the verses of Qur’an and lyrics of a song to stay together in your mind and I totally agree to that. You must have also realized it that on days when you are constantly listening to songs you have difficulty in concentration during your Salah and even listening to Qur’an doesn’t seems interesting. That is because your heart has given place to the lyrics of the songs that you listen to.

So in the start you will probably find it difficult but once you replace listening to songs with Qur’an recitation and nasheeds (without music), after a week or so it will become easier for you to not listen to songs.

Get Rid Of Any Material That Symbolizes A Celebrity

The celebrities that we follow are usually not keen followers of Islam and they do things that are most of the times against the teachings of Islam. So following such people can program your subconscious mind to subconsciously act like them. So tune your mind into following people who teach Deen, find inspirational people who are studying Deen who give Dawah, these are the people who will help you reach Jannah.

Set ‘Good Muslim’ Goals

The reason I have only elaborated two points above is because they are common among us Muslims but there will be more things that we do on a daily basis that inhibit our subconscious mind from becoming a good Muslim. So take this as an assignment or homework, sit in a quiet place and reflect upon your current week and try to find out things that may be inhibiting you from become a better Muslim. Make a list of them and then set ‘good Muslim’ goals.

Visualize The Goals

Before sleeping each night and then when you wake up for suhoor visualize your ‘good Muslim’ goals that you will do during the day. Visualization will help to train your subconscious mind into thinking that this is how you should act and behave and that will make it easier for you to attain your good Muslim goals.

Lastly, keep making Du’a so that Allah helps you in attaining your goals for this Dunya and Aakhirah. Insha Allah with determination and persistence you will be able to strive as a better Muslim each day.

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Wish you a blissful and a productive Ramadan.

Reflections From Life: A Muslim’s Guide To Inspiration, Out Now For Purchase!

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Book Review: Reflections from Life

Jazakillah khair for this beautiful review. 🙂

Muslimah According to Me

Bismillah al-Rahman al-Raheem

I’m so excited to be bringing you the second book review in two months, alhamdulillah! Today I am honored to be bringing you a review of Reflections from Life: A Muslim’s Guide to Inspiration by Aisha Idris of The Bookish Nomad . It is her debut self-help book, and it is full of Islamic inspiration punctuated by real-life lessons taken from her personal experiences.

I was glad to receive a copy of the e-book to read and review; the book was just the perfect mix of spirituality, real life lessons, and personal development, all the things I am so interested in these days!

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Review: Reflections from Life: A Muslim’s Guide to Inspiration

My book’s first review 🙂 Jazakillah khair Neymat Raboobe for your time and efforts.

The Imperfect Muslimah

Reflections from Life - A Muslim's Guide to InspirationReflections from Life: A Muslim’s Guide to Inspirationis a self-help book written by Aisha Idris. It’s her debut self-help book and you can find it on Amazon here. I was sent a soft-copy to review a little while back, which some of you may know as I’ve mentioned it previously.

The author recommends not diving head first into this book over one session but rather spreading out the reading of it. After having read it myself – admittedly, quite quickly – I can understand why. Reflections from Life is packed full of good advice and life lessons and they’re the type that lend well to further introspection.

Despite having read this book fast in order to be able to get my review up, I’ve already decided to give it a reread in order to let myself appreciate it as a whole better – which should clue in…

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Unsuccessful and Happiness! Can They Exist Together?

Unsuccessful and happiness, can they exist together? If we are going to rely on the society for the answer it will be a ‘No.’ But let me tell you, never rely on the society to define your success and the terms and conditions of your happiness because people’s idea of success and happiness is built from their perspective and from what they have been blessed in the journey of life. So your and someone else’s blessings are never going to be exactly same, in fact at times they will be totally opposite so how can we follow a plan of success and happiness that everyone else is following.

You Define Your Own Happiness

The few months that I had spent working in an orphanage taught me that happiness is a choice. Their beaming faces showed me that if they can be happy without a proper family and without the many luxuries of life then I too can. It was that turning point in my life when I decided that I will make happiness my choice and not some state that can be only achieved when I achieve a certain criteria in my life. That was the day I redefined happiness for my sake. For me happiness was then about being able to spend a quality time with my parents, getting to work in the field I was passionate about and was able to submit my university assignments in a timely manner. The criteria I had set were according to what I was doing then. Since I have graduated now, happiness for me is having a lot of free time on my hands so I get to focus on my hobbies. The money in my bank account is close to nothing right now but even then I am happy because for me money isn’t a criterion for my happiness. But let us just say that I do get a lot of money in my bank account, then that too will become a source for my happiness but not a source of sadness when it declines again. Putting it in a simpler way, our happiness depends on how grateful we are with what we already have and not what we are yet to have or desire to have.

Though I do agree that sometimes sadness or depressed feelings are inevitable since we are human beings and it is this sadness that helps us to think clearly at times. But your goal should always be to break this circle of depressive thoughts and focus on the blessings you have.

You Also Define Your Own Success

Just like happiness, success should also be defined by you only. The world will tell you that success is when you have a lot of money, when you are famous, or at a high position in your career or someone who is doing a lot in life. But I say that even a housewife who is happily cooking meals for her family, looking after her children and husband and is constantly trying hard to give comfort to others is success. A father, who may not be earning a lot of money, but each day he comes home and does things for his children and wife that brings a smile on their faces is once again success. Or let us take the example of a child who may not be able to do well at school but is a well-mannered child at home is yet again success. So you will never be unsuccessful if you define success for yourself.

happiness and success quote

You may be unsuccessful for the world but you can still be happy because it is you who should be defining your criteria for success and happiness. Hence unsuccessful and happiness can exist together.

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Develop Your Personality By Knowing Your Self-Worth

One of the key factors when it comes to developing your personality is to know your self-worth.

What is self-worth?

Sayeda Habib says in her book ‘Life Coaching For Muslims: Discover The Best In You!,’ “Self-worth is a value that is placed on a human life just by virtue of the fact that Allah created it. Self-worth is not about personal sense of entitlement; everyone is exactly equal in this regard.”

So basically, self-worth is to know that no matter what your financial status is, it doesn’t matter what is your skin colour, or to which part of the world you belong to, you are equally important because Allah created you and there is always a purpose in what He creates.

develop your personality by knowing your self worth
People’s opinion about you does no harm to your self-esteem

Some signs that you know your self-worth:

  • If you come across someone wealthy or with a good professional background you still expect to be respected.
  • Your failures or successes don’t define your worth.
  • You believe in the purpose of your existence.
  • People’s opinion about you does no harm to your self-esteem.
  • Even if your self-esteem is negatively affected sometimes, you make sure to work on it.
People’s opinion about you does no harm to your self-esteem
If your self-esteem becomes low you think that you deserve it and let it be

Some signs that you don’t know your self-worth

  • You let other people demean you.
  • Your opinion about yourself depends on what people think of you.
  • Your failures and successes define your self-worth.
  • People with higher financial or profession status can treat you as they want and you don’t find anything wrong about it.
  • If your self-esteem becomes low you think that you deserve it and let it be.

Tips to know your self-worth

If your self-esteem becomes low you think that you deserve it and let it be
Know that your status and rank in the sight of Allah is all what you need to be worried about
  • Understand that you were created by Allah and He created you because you were worthy to be in this world.
  • Think of the time when Muslims are performing pilgrimage, men despite of whatever background they come from they are all wearing two pieces of white unstitched cloth. This is the biggest example that we are all equal in the sight of Allah.
  • Know that your status and rank in the sight of Allah is all what you need to be worried about.
  • Know that your status and rank in the sight of Allah increases according to the number of good deeds you perform and not according to how much money you earn or how good looking you are.
  • Ponder about your blessings; Allah gave it all to you because He loves you more than your mother.

reflections from Life A Muslim's guide to inspiration

More personal development articles on my blog:

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Are We Losing The Essence of Marriage Celebrations?

Lights, camera and action! “Please look up at the ceiling with your right hand under your chin.”

“You will have to keep your meeting short with the guests because we have to click 80 more pictures in the pose that you are sitting in right now.”

“My dress is the most expensive dress in this town and the heavy jewellery has given me a headache.”

This is an ideal scenario of most of the weddings that I visited in the recent years. One might say that there is no harm in having a lavish marriage celebration if it is fulfilling their idea of a perfect wedding. Well, surely there isn’t and if you are planning on one then don’t get disheartened by my blog post because it is purely my opinion and no one has to abide by it until they agree that what I am saying is true.

In a general scenario the bride and the groom are supposed to be the center of attention but then comes the photographer and videographer to steal the show. They wouldn’t allow the relatives and guests to meet the bride and groom. Even if they do allow it will only be for a minute or so. The natural and beautiful moments between the bride and the groom are replaced by fake actions recommended by the photographer. By the time they finish, the time has gone by and it is time for the rukhsati (bride’s departure). The time that the bride wanted to spend with her mother, father and siblings was lost in meaningless photo sessions. Years later when the bride views those photos, how many of these pictures will she even be able to connect with some memory from the wedding?

Then comes the hours spent at the saloon by both the genders and it turns out to be a tiring experience in most cases. It is encouraged to beautify ourselves but don’t go overboard that you actually get drained out instead of feeling rejuvenated.

release date twitter

The lavish marriage celebrations take months of preparation which in turn kills your vital time. Many people even end up missing their prayers. In my opinion marriage celebrations are meant to bring the family together and not miss essential family time. Marriage celebrations are supposed to make us happy and not put us under stress. Marriage celebrations are a time to be grateful, to reflect on our blessings and to worship Allah as a sign of gratefulness.

I am yet to be married and I hope to find someone with mutual feelings so I can have a wedding that pleases my Rabb, Insha Allah.

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This is How I Made My Feel Good Journal

A few months back I wrote a blog post, Don’t Fill Your Diary With Negative Memories which had reached a lot of views. Today I am writing this blog post on how I made my Feel Good Journal at a time when things were a bit a difficult at my end. The Feel Good Journal really helped me cope with my problems in a positive manner and since now that Allah has solved my problem I wish to share about it with my readers.

Objective of my Feel Good Journal

The reason I made this Feel Good Journal was because I wanted to create something that will keep me grateful during the darkest days of my life. When I was going through the difficult situation I ended up talking all negative and becoming ungrateful for whatever I already had. Just so you know I hate been ungrateful and I am actually afraid whenever I utter ungrateful words. So in order to stop myself and make myself look towards the brighter aspects of my life I created this Feel Good Journal.

Materials Needed:

  • A pretty notebook that says, ‘Pick me up!’ whenever you look at it.
  • Some cute stickers (optional).
  • Different coloured pens.
  • Few positive quotes.

The how?

I already have a diary where I jot down my good and bad memories. Well, not exactly bad memories but rather I write in it about my problems and that helps me see the picture more clearly. So what I did was go through the start of this diary and selected all the good memories to be compiled in my Feel Good Journal. I used different coloured pens for different memories depending on the type of memory, relationship, ambition, or a fun day out.

dav

For people who don’t use a diary

If you don’t have a diary where you reflect your day to day activities then you can instead go through your smart phone gallery. Using a picture from each event of your life write at least one good memory.

This Feel Good Journal will help you during times when you will feel sad and depressed. It will keep you focused on the blessings that Allah has already blessed you with. Along with that, reading through your Feel Good Journal will divert your attention towards positive matters and will help you optimistically approach the problem.

How did you like this idea? Are you willing to try it out? Do let me know in the comments section below.

Jazakillah khairun kaseerun

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Bullying! Another Silent KILLER

Yesterday I heard the news of an 11-year-old child who committed suicide in Bradford due to some children picking on him at school. I felt terrible to hear the news. At such an innocent age when the child should be worried about finishing his homework or going out to play with his friends, he was instead bothered by a bunch of kids already suffering from the superiority complex.

Bullying is becoming a serious issue in our society and it is now taking a toll at schools. A place where children should be feeling safe and secure, they are actually going through nerve wrecking situations. Few of the headlines that I came across regarding this child were actually blaming the mother for not giving attention to the child but Allah knows best what the real situation was. Right now instead of spreading the news in order to play the blame game it will be wiser to actually focus on how we can eliminate bullying from our society.

A Request: Please do not share the picture of the child because their family has requested so.

So how can we address bullying in our immediate environment? Well, it is not just the responsibility of one person but us as the members of the society as a whole need to look and act upon it in an appropriate manner.

Advice for Parents on Addressing Bullying

As parents, try your best to educate your child regarding the consequences of bullying someone. Give them examples of how they would feel if someone would make fun of them. Use stories from the life of our Prophets and Sahaba. Make the discussion interactive so that your child can accept if he or she is involved in bullying someone or is the victim of bullying.

In case, your child confesses that they are bullying someone, do not scold them. Scolding and punishing will only teach them that next time they shouldn’t be honest with you. Instead talk to him using the emotional aspect of how that child must be feeling each time he gets bullied. Reinforce your child for being honest and tell them that they will now have to fix what they have done wrong.

Next, help them in the process of fixing their mistake.

If your child is the victim….
Now if the situation comes out that your child is being bullied, I’d suggest that you give them as much support as possible. Find out who those people are and where is your child getting bullied. You will now have to confront this matter along with your child (not alone). If it is in the school then have a talk with the school authorities. If it is in the playground in your area then find out who the child’s guardians are and have a talk with them.

Advice for Teachers on Addressing Bullying

Teachers are the next important people to parents because they get to spend half of the day with children. During this time they need to be vigilant and observe if any student is getting picked on. As teachers, your sole purpose is not just to teach but to also help shape their personality and if a child under you is getting bullied then how are they suppose to trust any authority figure next time. Also, if some child is able to get out of bullying under your supervision then they will never learn to respect their authority figures in the future.

I’d say that you have a friendly discussion in the classroom to communicate about bullying. Address the consequences of bullying. You can also involve them by telling stories related to bullying and how it had impacted both the victim as well as the bully. Encourage your students to open up if they see someone getting bullied.

In case if cases of bullying come up you will have to get involved in them wisely. Find out the reason behind why the child is bullying the other child. Bullying always has underlying issues. Fix a meeting with the parents of the victim and the bully separately to help sort out the problems of both the children.

Advice if you see someone getting bullied

Stand up at all times if you see any child getting bullied. As a part of this society, you must take responsibility for addressing the problematic issues of your society. Bullying is no less than a crime.

You guys might be wondering that why am I showing so much concern for the bully. Well, most of the times bullies are a result of the bad consequences they have gone through. By just saving one child from the bully does not help in fixing the issue. We need to get to the root of the problem and that is to look into the matters that are causing the child to turn into a bully.

Do have a look at one of the article I had written for BabyGaga – What Causes Children to Turn Into a Bully?

Jazakillah khairun kaseerun

From the heart, Inspiring To Read

How to Live a Positive Life?

Since there is so much negativity in our environment I believe we should really learn to live a positive life. I come across very few people who take the opportunity to inspire and motivate other people. The other part I come across are only there to whine, complain and demotivate other people from believing in dreams. Then I know some of those people who are interested in becoming positive about life but find it difficult. So my blog post is basically for those who are really wish to live a positive life.

I have often being asked by a few close friends that how come I manage to remain positive about my life and future despite having problems in my life. And I am sorry but answering this question in a sentence will not do much justice. So I thought why not write a blog post in which I share my secrets to living a positive life.

You will all have to agree that each one of us are going through a tough time or have been through at least once in their life. There will not be a soul on this earth who will say that they are not having any problems in their life. Each of us have their own shortcomings and we have to deal with it no matter what. There is no easy way out of our problems.

So far these are the few rules I apply to my life to live a positive life:

 

Staying aware of other people’s sufferings

I believe that I am not the only one who has problems in her life. Allah tests each of us in many ways. Some are struggling to finish their education. Some are having problems finding a job. There are some who can’t find the right person to marry. Then there are those who are engaged but are not able to get married for several reasons. The list will go on. We are all facing some problem or the other. So I don’t feel bad that I am facing problems as well because it is a part of every normal human being’s life.

I look at people who suffer more than I do

Reading news online makes me ponder over the fact that there is so much suffering around the world. Lots of countries are under political instability thus people die there every day. The terrorist attacks have left so many families devastated. In addition to that, there are people diagnosed with harmful diseases and are living a painful life. There is so much more to add to this list. Orphan children, parents losing their children, some people have no family, some have no home and some have physical disability. With so much of these sufferings I feel ashamed to keep complaining about my problems. Instead Allah has given me the ability to think clearly and resolve these issues so why not do that.

I believe I am here for a greater purpose

Allah didn’t sent me in this Dunya to cry, whine and complain about what I don’t have. I am here in this world for a greater purpose. My time in this world is short so why waste time to feel about what’s wrong in my life. Why not look at what is right in my life and work towards attaining my goals. Why not work towards becoming a good Muslim and making this world a better place for those who are suffering more than me.

Allah tests His strongest servants

Each time I feel I am going through a lot I look at the life of our Prophets and Sahaba. They were pious, refrained from sinning, yet in order to spread good they had to face so many hardships. I am not even going through 1% of what they went through (Alhumdulilah) so what makes me feel like it is a lot. Moreover, these sufferings will only help wash my sins so why to be sad.

I have faith in Allah’s plan 

Allah is the best planner indeed. He brought us into this world and gave us so many abilities and skills. I believe in Him and what He has planned for me will be for my good. I do not know what the future holds for me but I live with this believe that whatever it will be things will turn out to be alright and these problems I am facing currently will soon be over Insha Allah.

By stating these points I no way want to boost that I am very positive person because there are certain times I am extremely cranky and negative. This point comes in all of our lives but I make it a point to not let negative feelings and thoughts take over my mind. I try breaking the cycle of negative thoughts and start focusing on what is already good in my life.