Miscelleneous

10 Ways To Build Your Self-esteem

Last week I had published a blog post on 10 Signs To Know If You Are Suffering From Low Self-esteem. If those points applied to you then this blog post will help you build your self-esteem. Even if you are not suffering from low self-esteem it is essential that you look after yourself by doing these activities.

  • Start with giving attention to yourself. Instead of making your needs secondary or totally forgetting about your likes and dislikes, make yourself the focus. Remember that no one can take care of you better than yourself. Others treat you the way they see you treating yourself. If you are going to put your needs after other people they too will do the same with you.
  • Take some time out to look after your physical appearance. Take proper long showers, most of the people who treat themselves as unworthy, simply rush with their shower ritual just so they can serve others. Get yourself some nice scented shower gel and shampoo. Select your outfit for each day and match them with accessories. Men can take time in ironing their clothes and polishing their shoes.
  • Find the purpose of your life. We all have a purpose to live, we all have dreams to attain. Was there anything you wanted to accomplish in your life? Think about it. Better discuss it with a loved one. There is still time to achieve your dreams.
  • Do some creative work. Once every week do some creative work that will turn out therapeutic for you. It can be anything related to your interests. Write a funny poem, record some funny voices, do art work or simply come up with a silly game to have fun.
  • Dedicate some time of your day to do what you like. This will make you feel important and discover your worth.
  • Go back to developing a good bond with your loved ones. If your relationship with your spouse, parents or siblings has been damaged, try to develop that bond again. The support we get from our loved ones play a vital role in building our self-esteem and confidence.
  • Demand your right to get recognition. If you like getting praised for what you do, ask people to comment on your work. Ask people what they like about you. There is nothing wrong in seeking compliments for yourself once every while.
  • Ponder upon your surroundings, the place where you live, your work space. What do you like about the place you live in? What is the best part about the area you live in? What do you enjoy the most about your work? If there is anything you dislike, what can you do to make it right?
  • At least once a day eat what you like. It can be as small as your favourite brand of chips or chocolate.
  • Count and cherish your small successes and only the small successes. This is a reminder for you that you don’t always need to achieve something big to appreciate yourself. Every small step towards success, towards the right path, towards your purpose counts as an achievement.

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I really hope these tips help you build your self-esteem. You can always reach me at aisha2aboo@gmail.com.

 

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Miscelleneous

10 Signs to Know If You Are Suffering From Low Self-esteem

So in the past few months I was having discussions with some women at different times with each of them individually and I came across a similar pattern in all of their problems. Each one were suffering through a different problem such as, problems with spouse, anger management issues, difficulty looking after their children, feeling unsatisfied with their lives. And the one underlying cause for those problems was low self-esteem. All these women that shared their experiences were in some way or the other suffering through low self-esteem.

I decided to write this article because I know that there are many people who barely even speak about their problems. So I thought why not help people give a warning signal through these 10 signs that show that they might be suffering from low self-esteem. Also, these signs are not just for women but also for men so this blog post generally applies to everyone.

  • Do you find yourself feeling anxious among people? One of the signs of low self-esteem could be that you feel nervous when you are with a lot of people. You don’t feel like attending parties or going to places where you will have to interact with a lot of people. Also, we are talking about people whom you already know and you have interacted with them in the past and no argument has taken place between you people to make you feel anxious. When asked why you don’t feel like to be among them you just don’t have any explanation.
  • Do you simply follow the crowd? When you have to get there in the public you simply follow everyone else. You don’t want to be identified or want eyes on you. So you try your best to be like other people when stepping out of your home.
  • Are you feeling inadequate all the time? Feelings of inadequacy are something common among people who are suffering from low self-esteem. They constantly feel like they are not doing enough. They feel that they haven’t done justice to their responsibilities and feel emptiness in their life.
  • Do you have difficulty in accepting compliments? Each time someone compliments you, you feel like they are lying. You find difficulty in believing that you are good enough in terms of looks or at certain skills.
  • Do you end up neglecting your rights? Another sign of low self-esteem could be that you treat yourself to be the last in everything or sometimes don’t even consider yourself rightful enough to fulfill your needs. When other people ask for your assistance you agree to them without looking at your ease because their approval means more to you than your peace.
  • Are you constantly having negative thoughts? When someone is suffering from low self-esteem they tend to think negatively. If the husband is late from work they start assuming about another woman in their life. If wife doesn’t answer their call, husbands assume that there is something wrong with them. Whenever they do certain work they feel that it has not being done properly and wants to do them again. When the boss calls to speak to them privately the first thought is always a negative one that maybe they have done something wrong.
  • Do you find yourself confused at all times? You are confused and have a hard time making a decision. You wait for others approval before making up your mind. You can’t singlehandedly decide your life course. Even something as simple as looking from a menu and ordering food makes you look at your loved ones for advice and you repeatedly confirm your decision before finally opting for it.
  • You are afraid of challenges? Taking up something new and challenging is usually avoided. You feel like you won’t be able to do it and even if you agree to do it you find yourself in a lot of distress.
  • Do you expect bad to happen to yourself? You might think of yourself as unworthy and start expecting bad things to happen to yourself. It could be people’s words or your own thoughts that might make you feel that way.
  • Have stopped eating your favourite food? One of the last signs that I would like to state is the disinterest in your favourite food. If you are single and your mother is still cooking you might just eat what is on the plate without thinking much of what you like. If you are a wife or a mother, you might be cooking your family’s favourite meals while skipping cooking for yourself. If anyone even suggests to you, you simply shrug off the idea.

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There can be more signs but these are the basic 10 signs of people who are suffering from low self-esteem. If you find these signs visible in yourself then just don’t stay back. Talk to a loved one, discuss your problems. You can also write to me at aisha2aboo@gmail.com.

Jazakallah khairun kaseerun

Article coming up next week: 10 Ways to Build Your Self-esteem

From the heart

Eid Mubarak To My Readers

As much as this day brings happiness to each of our homes and heart, we cannot deny the grief that the innumerable deaths around the world have caused. Not just in my country Pakistan, but each part of the world, especially the Muslim countries were terribly hit by unfortunate events. So it is my request to you to please remember them and their families in your prayers today and the days to come.

As I mention the word ‘prayers’, I wish to remind you that Ramadan may be over but not your test. You are still in this Dunya and the Angels at your sides (Kiraman Katibeen) are still writing down your good and bad deeds. The Angels carry on shifting their position during Fajr and Asr to report Allah Ta’alah that if you were praying or not when they left. So nothing has stopped. Only Ramadan has gone by but your life is still going on. You are supposed to obey to the commands of Allah Ta’alah even right now. So please don’t forget to pray all your five daily prayers. Please don’t let the spirit of Ramadan die. Don’t let your efforts go in vain. You have spent many nights repenting for your sins so don’t start its collection all over again.

On a lighter note, enjoy the Eid delicacies. I would love to know what your first day of Eid is like. For me Eid day begins with the Fajr prayer of course, after which I do a bit of cleaning and arranging that is left from the day before. As a Surti Gujurati my breakfast comprises of Payaa (without which my breakfast seems incomplete), Andaa Murghi ka Salan (Egg and Chicken curry) and Shermaal and Naan (these two are a kind of bread) to eat with it. This is like my most awaited breakfast. After that there is a serving of Sheer Khorma (vermicelli) for each of us. Then  I joyfully have a cup of coffee. Mmmmm! This is utter delight because Alhamdulilah I stop drinking coffee during Ramadan in order to avoid intake of caffeine. In the afternoon we go to meet our relatives and that’s about it.

So this is all about my first day of Eid. I’d love to know about your Eid as well so don’t forget to share it below in the comments section.

EID MUBARAK!

Regards,

Aisha

Miscelleneous

Make the Most of the Last 10 Days of Ramadan While You Are Busy

You may be a housewife, a mother, a father with a fulltime job, a student striving hard to achieve high grades. As a devoted Muslim you would want to make the most of the last 10 days of Ramadan, particularly the Laylatul Qadr nights while also focusing on your daily chores.

I have put together 10 tips that will help you make the most of the last 10 days of Ramadan.

  • Limit social networking and unnecessary cell phone usage. This will save your time which usually gets wasted and you can replace these activities with doing more Ibad’ah, Insha Allah. Read my blog post: Ways to Limit Your Social Networking Usage.
  • Complete your Eid shopping and most of the tasks before the 19th Ramadan. You wouldn’t want to stress yourself on the last 10 days of Ramadan hence it will be a better idea to get most of your work done before that.
  • Get activity stuffs for children. If you have young children that create a lot of nuisance while you are praying then maybe you can get them some new activity stuffs that they enjoy doing. This will keep them engaged thus giving you some peaceful time to do your Ibad’ah.
  • Create an environment for Laylatul Qadr nights. A clean, freshly washed prayer mat, with your room being scented and lit with a dim light may create a beautiful atmosphere for the Laylatul Qadr nights and will give you the motivation to pray. When using a scent make sure that it is one which will keep you refreshed and not put you off to sleep.
  • Do zikr Allah while doing your work. Since you won’t be able to pray at all times you can recite ‘Astaghfirullah,’ or many other Du’as stated in the Qur’an and Hadith. Doing zikr Allah also puts Barakah in your time.
  • Schedule your Ibad’ah routine. Just like you have work schedules, schedule the times when you will be solely praying, reading Quran or making Du’a.
  • Utilize free time to make Du’a. Allah is listening to you at all times. So anytime you find yourself but not able to pray, start making Du’a.
  • Keep yourself hydrated and energized. Staying awake at night and having to work in the morning while fasting can really get you tired. So keep yourself energized by eating lots of dates, fruits, and drinking water during the night hours. Read my blog post at TBN: Mind Tricks to Eat Healthy This Ramadan.
  • Keep a mini Qur’an with you when leaving home. So that anytime you find yourself doing nothing, you can simply read it. Read my article at Muslim Bloggers website: Are You Lagging Behind in Finishing Qur’an This Ramadan?
  • Listen to Qur’an when you cannot read it. Save surahs in your cell phone and play them while driving your car, or while you work in the kitchen or at your office.

These were my 10 tips to making the most of the last 10 days of Ramadan. I’d love to get more tips from my readers. Feel free to comment below.

Do remember me in your prayers and do remember Syria, Palestine, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Burma and many other places where the Muslim Ummah is suffering, in your prayers.

Jazakillah khairun kaseerun

Miscelleneous

Ways To Limit Your Social Network Usage

Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Whatsapp are few of the social networks that we use on a daily basis. Sometimes we find ourselves doing nothing other than endlessly scrolling down the newsfeed of different social networks, checking for new updates and feeling bad about how less interesting our life is when compared to the lives of other people on your friends’ list.

With Ramadan just a few days away I thought why not write an article on social networking since I myself had gone through the phase of social network addiction 2 months back and I really had to take up some immediate steps because too much of anything is never good. Plus, I believe that Allah created us for a better purpose than spending hours on social networks doing nothing.

  • Delete apps

There is this illusion of constant connectivity through the social network apps that we have installed on our smart phones and tabs. The instant notifications bound us to cater to them right at that moment. Instead of using apps on the go, fix a time when you will go online though laptop and respond to those notifications.

This applies even to those people who work online from home. I also work from home and this is my experience that instead of responding to your clients at any time of the day you must fix certain hours of the day during which you will be available to answer your clients. Don’t fear that by not being available all the time you will lose clients. Your clients need to know that you have a life outside of work and you also need to give yourself a break.

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  • Fight the urge

Now there are some apps that you can only use on your smart phones or tabs so obviously you won’t be able to delete them. For such apps you should lessen getting the notifications if there are any such options available. Apart from that, even if you get the notification, fight the urge of checking it instantly. Also, another thing you can do is to keep no sound for the notifications so you don’t get distracted while you are working.

  • Start your day with a purpose

The main reason why we find ourselves hooked to various social networks is because we don’t have a purpose. We simply wake up each day for the sake of it and do our work as usual. Have a purpose for each. Like, ‘Today I will respond to all the pending emails,’ or ‘I am going to finish my work early today so I can read my book.’

  • Engage more with the people around you

Have you ever realized that you are more aware of your Facebook friends’ life than what your mother, father or spouse are going through? It is because we don’t make conscious efforts to strengthen our bond with the family any more. Keep your smartphone aside, look up and speak to the people living in your home. It will make you feel much better because you will be speaking to someone who isn’t there to boost about their life but is rather there to have a real conversation with you.

I really hope these tips benefit you like it did to me. Do share any other tips you have for limiting our time spent on social networks. If you have a problem to discuss, you can reach out to at aisha2aboo@gmail.com.

From the heart

The Struggle Of Finding The Right Job

After university ends life starts to feel like a big empty hole. When you are in university or college there is always a push that makes you keep going even if you don’t want to. But as soon as you step out of university it feels like you have stepped on a deserted island where your first goal is to look for water but exactly in which direction, becomes the big question.

During my last month in the university I was having mixed feelings. I already had some ideas in mind but they weren’t yet ripe enough to implement. Then the final exams began and ended all too soon. The first 2 months I enjoyed, Alhumdulilah and I am still enjoying. I have gone to a few job interviews but something just didn’t feel right. I am a person who adjusts quite easily but certain times I just don’t feel like settling for anything less.

With 5 years of experience in freelance writing and 4 years of experience in blogging I can easily get a full time writing job (was also offered from a few places) but that is not what my life goal is. I know some of you reading this might think that I am being ungrateful but honestly I don’t want to settle for something that is not going to give me the satisfaction even if it brings in a lot of cash. I love writing but working as a full time writer is not what I would enjoy doing hence I am still in search of that right job.

I have always wanted to work in a field where I could bring positive change in the lives of people. My blogging allows me to do that and so does the book that I finished writing several months ago. Now I wish to work in an organization where I can actively do this. People have told me that I should just settle with whatever offer I am getting but once again I want to follow my heart just like how I did when I was confused between choosing to become a doctor or a psychologist. I believe in doing something that I enjoy so I can give my best to whatever I am doing.

I don’t mean to rant in this blog post but I thought this piece of my feelings can be a source of inspiration for those who are struggling to follow their dreams rather than the crowd. If you are not ready to settle for something that doesn’t excites you then it is totally okay. If you are still lost and not able to decide what you want to do in life, it is still okay. If you believe that despite all the hopelessness you will still find the job that you want, then it is totally fine. If you are not running after money but rather expertise, then that is wonderful. If you are not ready to follow the herd and want to make your own path, then that is great!

Just know that Allah is closer to you than the jugular vein. He will answer your prayers and He knows your good intentions. Stay strong, keep praying and don’t stop striking over and over again.

Life is not just about earning money,

It’s about doing the thing that defines you.

Jazakillah khairun kaseerun.

From the heart

The Price Of A Differently Abled Child

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a special child? Their eyes reflect innocence like every other child. God has only created them in a different way which sometimes requires extra attention from their care takers. But then who isn’t different. The society takes advantage of this situation and makes the parent pay a hefty price for something that wasn’t in their control.

Looks of disapproval

The society makes the parent pay when they look at their child with disbelieving eyes. When they show annoyance for their child’s restlessness. When the society fails to provide support to their parents. The world makes the parent pay a price when they look at them in a degrading manner. What these people forget is that beauty and intelligence come in different forms.

We all face hurdles

One of the biggest myths about a child with special needs is that they bring unhappiness to their parents. But they fail to understand that a child who is like every other doesn’t always guarantees success and happiness to their parents. Each one of us faces some form of difficulty in life. God tests each one of us so no one has any right to look down upon a child who might be slightly different than the rest. No person has any right to label any child.

The experts take advantage

The health welfare team charges tons of money for helping the child deal with their limitations. While some countries may be considerate enough to provide financial help to parents, organizations in many countries take it as an opportunity to fill their pockets with as much as you can.

Every child deserves respect

A child may score low in their academics.

A child may stutter while speaking.

A child may show lack of confidence when in public.

A child may lack some form of capability.

A child may be mentally challenged.

A child may be physically disabled.

A child may face difficulty in focusing.

A child may be hyperactive.

A child may require extra help.

A child may require more attention.

But they all deserve to be respected.

From the heart

What People Have To Say About Me Being A Quiet Person…

I enjoy talking but with those people with whom I can relate. I am usually hungry for intellectual talks which can help me increase my knowledge. People who mostly have tons of gossip or boost about materialistic goods don’t fascinate me. I’d rather be alone than spend time with people whose sole purpose is to gossip. This ideally means that I don’t interact much with every person I meet and it is always funny to hear what people have to say about me.

  • They think I am arrogant because I remain serious among strangers but they don’t understand that this is my nature.
  • I am considered to be a jealous person because I don’t inquire much about their life. But this is just because I don’t ask about things that have no concern for me. I would never ask a friend what her husband does as a living because that won’t benefit me. I will however be interested to know what my friend wishes to do in her life so I could assist her in some way.
  • People think that I am not confident enough to speak but they don’t know that I have confidently presented in class presentations and have conducted group counselling sessions and workshops at different places.
  • I am judged as a rude person but sometimes I just want to remain quiet.

Why I enjoy being a quiet person at times?

Sometimes I just want to be a spectator to different situations and this in turn also helps me to writer better. I get to understand a situation without being in it and that allows me to see every ones perspective. I enjoy listening to what other people have to say and I can be a good listener if I want to be. I like reflecting on situations and being quiet means I get to think thoroughly about a situation.

Another reason why I am quiet is because I don’t enjoy speaking at the top of my lungs. If I am a gathering where I will have to raise my voice to speak to everyone than I prefer being quiet. I get tired too easily if I speak loudly for long durations. Lastly, I cherish the people close to me and there are few of those. I don’t find it comfortable opening up to everyone and that is why I am mostly listening than talking. But if you find me sitting with my favourite people you will surely judge me as a talkative person.

So this was about me. What about you? Are you an introvert or an extravert? What judgements do you have to hear for being any of those? Share it in the comments section. Let’s make this blog post more interesting.

Miscelleneous

Don’t Fill Your Diary With Negative Memories

Often when we write in our diary it is usually to express our feelings about a negative experience. I have heard people say that it helps them feel better and I agree that it sure does. But what happens when in some point in your life you start reading those entries?

Going back to read old diary entries can leave you depressed if they are mostly sad. This is one reason why I discourage myself to write in my diary when I encounter with a bad situation. Even if I do write something negative I make sure that I end it with a positive note.

This is what you can do to make your diary more inspiring.

Fill your diary with positive experiences

People mostly write in their diary when they are sad and that is how a personal diary turns into a diary full of tragedies. So when you read it at some point all the negative encounters make you think that your life is bad and nothing good has ever happened.

While you write about your bad experiences you should also write in your diary when a good event occurs. This way you will actually get an overall perspective of your life and you won’t feel sad.

Leave some space when writing about a negative event

It’s good to express your feelings and some of us enjoy doing it by writing them. But do one thing. When you are suffering through a bad phase, write about it and leave some space. Once you are out of your bad phase you can go back to that entry and write about your experience, what you learnt during that difficult time, how did you get out of it and anything else that will make you feel that every bad phase has an end. Next time you are going through a bad time you can use this entry to become optimistic about your situation.

I used these two techniques to make my diary a source of inspiration rather than a booklet full of grief. I hope it helps you too.

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN 20 DAYS OF POSITIVE JOURNALLING?

The details will be revealed soon but if you think you will be interested you can drop your email id in the comments section below or email me at aisha2aboo@gmail.com. Also, if you are a blogger or a Vlogger, mention your blog and social network details as well.

Jazakillah khair

Miscelleneous

Are You Guilty Of Ruining Relationships With Your Words?

No matter how good we are there will always be certain weaknesses that will let us down. One of these weaknesses can be the use of harsh words that ruins relationships. It can be a wicked tongue that creates distance between loved ones or a constant taunt that draws people away from each other.

As much as you know it isn’t healthy you still have difficulty putting a stop to this habit and end up losing a good bond. Well, I would like to share a few tips which will help you control your impulses whenever you feeling like uttering something that is unacceptable.

  • Talk only what is needed. This will help you avoid blurting anything that will offend the other person. When your conversation is short and on point you are more aware of what you are saying and that will help keep a control on your words.
  • If you are losing your cool then change your position. This will help to divert your attention to something else. If it is a person who is making you angry then you can move away from them or if possible even leave that room.
  • If you are having an urge to speak something bad start reciting Du’as. These days I consider smart phones quite a life saver when it comes to awkward situations. You can quickly indulge yourself in an interesting article or a fun game.
  • Be mindful of Allah because whatever wrong you will say will be recorded and Allah will not like it. You should be conscious that Allah is watching you at all times.

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These are quite simple yet effective tips to help you control the tongue. Start applying them from right now and Insha Allah you will find yourself improving in a short span of time.