Inspiring To Read

Unsuccessful and Happiness! Can They Exist Together?

Unsuccessful and happiness, can they exist together? If we are going to rely on the society for the answer it will be a ‘No.’ But let me tell you, never rely on the society to define your success and the terms and conditions of your happiness because people’s idea of success and happiness is built from their perspective and from what they have been blessed in the journey of life. So your and someone else’s blessings are never going to be exactly same, in fact at times they will be totally opposite so how can we follow a plan of success and happiness that everyone else is following.

You Define Your Own Happiness

The few months that I had spent working in an orphanage taught me that happiness is a choice. Their beaming faces showed me that if they can be happy without a proper family and without the many luxuries of life then I too can. It was that turning point in my life when I decided that I will make happiness my choice and not some state that can be only achieved when I achieve a certain criteria in my life. That was the day I redefined happiness for my sake. For me happiness was then about being able to spend a quality time with my parents, getting to work in the field I was passionate about and was able to submit my university assignments in a timely manner. The criteria I had set were according to what I was doing then. Since I have graduated now, happiness for me is having a lot of free time on my hands so I get to focus on my hobbies. The money in my bank account is close to nothing right now but even then I am happy because for me money isn’t a criterion for my happiness. But let us just say that I do get a lot of money in my bank account, then that too will become a source for my happiness but not a source of sadness when it declines again. Putting it in a simpler way, our happiness depends on how grateful we are with what we already have and not what we are yet to have or desire to have.

Though I do agree that sometimes sadness or depressed feelings are inevitable since we are human beings and it is this sadness that helps us to think clearly at times. But your goal should always be to break this circle of depressive thoughts and focus on the blessings you have.

You Also Define Your Own Success

Just like happiness, success should also be defined by you only. The world will tell you that success is when you have a lot of money, when you are famous, or at a high position in your career or someone who is doing a lot in life. But I say that even a housewife who is happily cooking meals for her family, looking after her children and husband and is constantly trying hard to give comfort to others is success. A father, who may not be earning a lot of money, but each day he comes home and does things for his children and wife that brings a smile on their faces is once again success. Or let us take the example of a child who may not be able to do well at school but is a well-mannered child at home is yet again success. So you will never be unsuccessful if you define success for yourself.

happiness and success quote

You may be unsuccessful for the world but you can still be happy because it is you who should be defining your criteria for success and happiness. Hence unsuccessful and happiness can exist together.

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Miscelleneous

Do You Feel Sad After A Thrill Of Excitement?

So you heard an exciting news you were expecting for days. It all seems perfect. Happiness is in the air. You are excited and you know it will feel good from here but suddenly you go in a state of sadness. You feel low and depressed and don’t know what to do next.

A state of sadness after a thrill of excitement or happiness is called ‘happiness hangover.’ Happiness hangover happens to all of us. It is our body’s way of telling us, ‘take a break there is too much of an emotion.’ I often take this example to apply it to life. Our lives are a roller coaster ride with both ups and downs. There are situations that take us over the moon and there are moments which leave us disappointed. SubhanAllah this is the beauty of life because Allah knows too much of any emotion cannot benefit us.

One of the many reasons I tell people why times of despair and unhappiness seems good because we cannot be happy and grateful if we have not encountered with sad moments. Moments of disparity teaches us to appreciate happiness when we get blessed with it.

It is also a sign that sadness won’t last for long so we shouldn’t worry a lot. Happiness is also only for a certain time so we should try living in that moment.

Whenever you feel overexcited and then feel a tinge of sadness know that it is time to take a break. It can be your friends that has left you very excited. You can take time alone to reflect then. It can be an improvement in your lifestyle that has left you overwhelmed. You can take that moment to ponder upon all the blessings you had so far and the struggles you went through to get to this point.

Lastly, don’t forget to thank Allah. Be grateful to Allah at all times. That feeling of gloominess is a sign telling you to thank Allah for the blessings you are given. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, and be thank­ful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me” – (Surah Baqarah, 152) 

I will be writing more on how to deal with happiness hangover. Until then, Jazakillah khairun kaseerun.

Inspiring To Read, Miscelleneous

Do We Always Need a Spark in Our Lives?

Ever since we start reading fairy tales in our childhood we start believing that our lives too should be magical. Especially girls are made to believe that happiness only exists in magical and special moments. Hence all our lives we wait for a spark to bring us joy.

When we are young, especially during our teen and young adult years, we wait for special occassions and events because that gives us a feeling of rush in the moment. We want our lives to be hot and happening. I still remember how crazily excited I was for my graduation lunch and then the parties that came during the school and college years. But as I have grown to be a woman I no more wait for that spark. I still of course love special moments and occassions but now I don’t anticipate for them. If they happen, I make the most of it if not then I simply love my quiet and serene life.

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One more thing that usually happens when we wait for a spark is that we stop living in the moment. We start living in our future with a bunch of expectations. When those expectations are not met, it leaves us feeling sad and depressed. Think of a time when you were worrying about your tomorrow so much that you had stopped living in that moment and what did you felt when that moment was over? I remember doing that a lot of times and I have truly regretted those moments.

I would just like to conclude by saying that more than anything, be grateful for a healthy and a peaceful life. You might not always need a rush of excitement but you will surely need a heart that is at peace and if that’s what you are in, then just thank your Creator.

Inspiring To Read

Change: A part of life

It was another random day with the sun shining bright, the flowers swaying with the soft breeze and the kids playing around in the park. She was walking over the hard brick pathway surrounded by the wet and green grass. She looked around to find a bench and found an empty one at the other end of the park. And just within that very second she was walking as fast as she can to get to the bench before anyone else does.

Just as she sat, Salma came from behind puffing and panting. Salma was her next door neighbour and a person who will always be on the go to give a helping hand to anyone in the neighbourhood. Salma had her life organized in the most perfect way. Her day would begin with a peaceful breakfast, a healthy morning exercise, and a relaxed evening after a hard day’s work at the office. All in all, Salma thought that her life was complete and for that she highly praised her decision for not getting married.

“Asalam u alaikum! Lubna, how come you are here so early morning?” Salma’s eyes seemed cheerful on finding her best friend joining her at the park. “I wanted to share something with you.”

“Walaikum Assalam. Yes, I took an off from my work today. Tell me what you had to share?”

“Yesterday Samina phopho called. You know the one who keeps nagging me about getting married?” Salma frowned on taking her phopho’s name.

“I’m sure she again got you a proposal,” she laughed at her words.

“Proposal! Hell, no! It was a contract.”

“Hahaha! Why is that?”

“Because my phopho said, Salma that family is so rich that you wouldn’t have to tire yourself going to work, driving the car or handling your home. They have got drivers, maids, cook and a very rich income. You will be like a queen.” Salma imitated her phopho’s voice.

It was not that Salma was against marriage, but she did not approved the society’s method of looking for a husband. She was not interested in getting married to a rich guy or some handsome guy or even someone who truly loved her. She considered herself too sensitive to accept changes in her life and thus she had taken a stand to never get married.

“But Salma, for how long can you stay single? Can you live alone all your life? And your parents, they too must be worried as they are growing old,” Lubna explained.

“Hmm,” Salma replied after a long pause. “But still I’m determined about my decision.”

Lubna just nodded knowing that it was no use trying to explain Salma that marriage wasn’t as bad as she thought. It was just a mixture of sweet and spice. Ever since Salma’s sister had gotten married, she had observed closely. At the beginning, she was always fascinated to see her sister and brother n law together everywhere. They were they closest friends to each other and required no one else. But as time passed and they got children, her sister got busy with the children while her husband started spending more time in the office. This made it difficult for them to give time to each other and share their thoughts.

That was when Salma decided to not get involved in the rituals of marriage and just spend a happy single-woman’s life. She never regretted not being married. In fact she loved enjoying and making most of all her moments in life.

“Anyways, I have got to leave now. Don’t want to be late for office,” Salma jogged away in the other direction towards their apartment.

Seeing Salma disappear inside the apartment, Lubna got lost in her own early days of marriage. Unlike her friends who had their marriage arranged, Lubna had gone for a love marriage. It was a lovely life with her husband. They had left for a world tour soon after their marriage. For the first year, their weekends were filled with romantic getaways or a simple candle light dinner at home. Lubna thought she had it all what she wanted and felt so blessed to have such a loving husband.

After a year, their marriage became sweeter when they were gifted with a beautiful twin baby boy and baby girl. It seemed as if their life was complete with a happy family of four. From romantic outings and dinner they progressed to fun filled trips to the parks and beaches. Their kids lost in playing around, while Lubna and her husband got to spend some quality time together.

Their children were now in kindergarten. Life had become busier and tougher. Her husband’s business was booming day by day as it was opening its franchise in foreign countries which meant that he had to spend more time working. Lubna, on the other hand was engrossed in various research works assigned to her by her boss and of course nurturing two little children who at this age are ultimate explorers, wasn’t at all a piece of cake.

Taking out time for each other was becoming a little difficult and all they got were the weekends during which the kids wouldn’t obviously leave them alone.

Looking at her watch, Lubna realized that it was already time to pick up her children from school. Heading towards her apartment, she went to her home to get the car keys.

As she opened her home’s entrance door, she was confused to see the curtains drawn. As far as she had remembered, the curtains were tied neatly with the ribbon to let the morning sunshine enter her home. It seemed strange and freaky.

Who could it be? She thought. She was a firm believer of ghosts and had always avoided watching horror movies or reading scary books which could have caused her to spend several sleepless nights. Ignoring the thought, Lubna stepped inside and closed the door. What was more strange was that she could hear soft giggles. This terrified her more.

With a sudden jump her kids appeared from behind the sofa and startled Lubna. Before Lubna could get hold of what is happening, her husband followed the kids with a small cake in his hand.

“Happy Anniversary!!!!” The kids and her husband screamed in chorus.

Astonished, Lubna asked, “Umair…you remembered?”

“So you doubted. Have I ever forgotten any of your birthdays or our anniversary?”

“No you never did. But this year was different. There was so much to be done by you.”

“So what! My family is still the most important part of me. I may get involved in my work completely most of the time, but I still value my family the same way I did at the start of our marriage.” Umair smiled proudly.

That was when Lubna realized what Salma really needs to understand. Change is a part of life, either married or not married. As years pass your life may become more or less busier but the happiness of having a partner to confide in is something no other relation could give.